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Now that 10 years have passed since the original’s release, do you fancy contributing to Disney’s Scrooge McDuck vault by shelling out for a ticket to watch a shot-for-shot live-action knockoff of Moana?
No? Thought not.
If you loved the original animated tale, stay away. There’s nothing in the new version that matches 2016 Moana ’s vibrancy or adds anything to a film that didn’t need fixing.
If you were enchanted and moved by the coming-of-age nautical adventure of a Polynesian chief’s daughter (then Auliʻi Cravalho, now Catherine Laga’aia) chosen by the ocean to retrieve a mystical relic stolen by a demi-god (then Dwayne Johnson, now Dwayne Johnson again), stay away. It’s the same film all over again, just duller, flatter, and with The Rock in a nipple-deprived bodysuit.
Catherine Laga’aia, you’ve done nothing wrong. Thank you for your efforts.
If you’re sick and tired of the House of Mouse’s persistent and cynical cannibalizing of their own IPs through an assembly line strategy of live-action remakes, stay away. Disney’s shameless master plan is hardly new, but this time they couldn’t even nostalgia bait properly. Considering the original Moana only came out 10 years ago, there’s no new audience to appeal to with this pointless rehash.
And if you continue to maintain that the original Moana ’s absolute banger ‘How Far I’ll Go’ should’ve completely eclipsed the lunatic ubiquity of ‘Let It Go’ from Frozen, you’re still right. Keep fighting the good fight – while not financially endorsing studio execs rubbing their hands together at the thought of clueless audiences bankrolling their creatively barren cash grab.
There seems to be no end to how far (or low) they’ll go, but if they can’t even be bothered to give the remake a personality or humour of its own, vote with your wallet. The animated sequel Moana 2 (2024) already made them more than $1 billion worldwide. Does it seem like they need more of your hard-earned cash?
Moana is out in cinemas now.