Which brings us neatly (sort of) onto Miroslav Radačovský, who was named Slovakia’s ambassador to Cyprus this week. When he was an MEP in 2024, Radačovský released a live dove from a bag in the European Parliament in Strasbourg (which means the bird has a better attendance record than most EU lawmakers).
“I would like to set this dove free as a symbol of peace, to symbolize that Europe needs peace. Let’s let this dove unite all of us,” he said, uniting the bloc by letting a terrified bird shit all over the hemicycle.
Radačovský had clearly learned nothing from the pope. In 2014, Pope Francis and some children had similarly released two white doves from the Apostolic Palace during the pontiff’s weekly Angelus prayer. The doves were immediately attacked by a seagull and a crow. This, historians will one day surely document, was the exact moment that the world headed straight down the toilet.
If we are assigning political leanings to birds though (and we are), then it’s obvious the seagull would be far right, specifically English far right — shaven-headed, violent, loves to hang out near the coast, and a bully who steals your chips (or fries, if you will).
The pigeon would be green (politically), as they are almost exclusively found in urban areas, and considered a pest by many.
Starlings would be socialist because they work together for the greater good with their elaborate swarming behavior, but are also prone to infighting (often to the death).