Aside from all the entry exams, exorbitant holidays and canteens — I thought there were few similarities between the European institutions and the school world.
If the EU bubble was to be compared to any academic institution it would probably be Hogwarts, the fictional private school in Harry Potter (except with less magic and Brits and more made-up words and scary bald men).
Brussels, I thought, is a bit like an expensive U.S. liberal arts college. It must be nice to major in Absurdist theater and minor in comitology — but you’ll struggle in the real world.
But these were my musings before a mysterious report by something called the Schuman School Inspectorate Body landed on my desk.
“Mrs von der Leyen is a strong headmistress, and the inspectors commend her efforts to boost the school’s reputation on the world stage,” it read. “But her insistence on marking all homework herself is slowing down the students’ learning potential — even if she claims that she saves time by sleeping in the staff room.”
Turning over the page, I found more tough analysis. “Students like Master Orbán, who is now repeating the year for the tenth time, are indulged rather than disciplined for disrupting school assemblies and stealing school stationery,” it reads.
